


A Kid in a Candy Store

by Harle_Queen



Series: Name a More Iconic Duo (Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship) [2]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Happy is Not Happy, How Do I Tag, Meme Bros, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter Parker & Shuri Recreating Memes, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker, Precious Shuri, Rhodey Questioning His Friendship with Tony, Science Bros 2.0, Shuri is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:26:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harle_Queen/pseuds/Harle_Queen
Summary: Or replace "Kid" with "Two Teens" and replace "Candy Store" with "Cleaning Isle".(In which Rhodey and Happy are on babysitting duty, Happy bails and Rhodey is so confused as to why these kids want dish soap; 19 bottles to be exact)





	A Kid in a Candy Store

Rhodey is gonna kill Tony.

And Happy. Definitely Happy.

He was just going to go grocery shopping, but now has to take these two kids with him, because apparently Happy was taking them back from seeing Hamilton, but Tony had unexpectedly called him, saying that he and T'Challa are busy with some US officials and need the teens out of the building for a couple hours.

So Happy decided to find where Rhodey was and ditch the kids with him, mumbling as he drove away "Don't get paid enough for this."

So yeah, Rhodey is gonna kill Happy (And Tony, since Rhodey had to leave for two weeks and Tones decides to mentor a super kid... he's also the one who got the two teens together...).

Now you would be thinking that this wouldn't be so bad, since the kids are almost adults and can take care of themselves. 

That's what he thought too.

But as he was standing there in front of Walmart, watching as the two teens climb out of the back of the limo, screaming (not singing,  **screaming** ) 'My Shot' at the top of their lungs... he just knew this wasn't gonna be easy.

For being geniuses, they acted like five year olds in a toy store. When Rhodey was in the electronics department to get a new flash drive (usually this is Pepper's job, but she has to be with Tony since she is the CEO and such), he at first heard what sounded like Peter moaning. The kid did it again... and than started screaming his lungs out.

Rhodey dropped the drive and rushed over to the teens... who were doubled over themselves, laughing.

"What was that?" Rhodey yelled at them. Shuri, still chuckling, holds up three packs of Energizer batteries, which were a double A, a triple A and a quadruple A (that's a thing?) respectively.

He still had no idea what they were laughing at, but he felt like he didn't want to know.

And so Colonel Rhodes laid down the first rule: 'No Loud Noises So Rhodey Doesn't Have to Pay For More Broken Stuff That He Drops'. Rule One was soon followed by 'Don't Wander Off', 'No Climbing the Shelves' ("You can play the lava on the floor game at home you guys, now Peter, get down!"), 'Shut Up with the Puns', 'Stop Being Weird', 'Put All The Apple Juice Away', 'Stop Saying "Oh My God Cholesterol"', 'No More Hamilton' and 'No More Musicals in General'.

To say he was exhausted was the understatement of the century.

But soon, finally ( **finally** ), he was almost done getting everything off the list, and the three of them were now heading to the checkout lane.

But things couldn't be this easy, can it?

As he was texting Happy to come pick them up at the front of the store, he heard a gasp and Shuri going, "Colonel Rhodes, Colonel Rhodes! Can we please get this?"

He turned the cart around to see what they wanted... and was confused to say the least.

"Dishsoap?" He said more to himself as he looked at what the princess was holding.

"Well... 19 bottles, to be exact," Peter grins, fluttering his eyes.

 _Puppy eyes, wha-_ Rhodey stutters as he tries to figure this out.

"Why do you guys need 20 bottles of dishsoap?" He sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"19, and it's for a Vine," Shuri replies, like that would get him to buy it for them.

"Won't one just be enough?"

"No, it has to be 19!"

"Does it have to be dishsoap?"

"Yeah, cause Johnny has 19 bottles of dishsoap."

"Who- you know what, nope, not asking. Can't you just buy it yourself?"

She pauses.

"...Brother wouldn't let me bring my own money..."

"Why not?"

"...Because last time I bought bags of Tortilla chips."

"Hurricane Katrina?" Peter speaks up, and the two finish together, "More like Hurricane Tor-tilla!"

Rhodey is too old for this (So this is how Happy felt).

"Ok, well how about I buy you five of these Tortilla chips instead of 19 bottles of $3 dishsoap?"

They stop their laughter, and Shuri shrugs her shoulders, saying, "Alright, than you leave us no choice."

"Wha-"

Suddenly, the two teens promptly fall onto the floor, on their knees, hands clasped.

"Please please pleeeeaaaaassse?" Peter begs.

"We're sorry for being so annoying today!" Shuri adds on.

"We promise we won't beg for anything ever again, please just let us get this!" The two whine some more, Rhodey getting weird looks from passerbyers.

He starts weighing the pros and cons in his head; pro, he'll never have to deal with the children's insufferable antics. Con is that they'll forget about their promise or say that it never happened.

But he should make a desicion now, since security is coming over.

"Have you reconsidered?" He catches Shuri asking with a smile before she continues whining.

Oh, they're good.

* * *

The three of them climb into the back of Happy's limo, each carrying a few bags.

Rhodey could see Happy grinning through the mirror when the driver saw the colonel's tired face.

"Did you guys have fun?" The driver asked in mock curiosity.

"Yeah, and guess what?" Shuri pulls out a bottle, "Colonel Rhodey got us stuff we need for a Vine!"

"Thanks again, Colonel Rhodes!" Peter smiles affectionately at the older man, and soon, he is pulled into a hug by the teens. A ghost of a smile works its way onto the Colonel's face. He couldn't help it. While the two get on his nerves easily, they do have good hearts and he is a little envious of their childish excitement and wonder with the world. He hopes that it never goes away.

And he may also be grinning because he just paid for $55 dollars of Dawn dishsoap with Happy's card.

He kinda saw that coming, though.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment below of what you want to see next!!
> 
> For anyone who is able to point out all the meme and vine references I made is a legend.


End file.
